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DAILY QUOTES / INSPIRATIONS / NOTICES

 

:-))

Realy Happy Smiley

You can't read this and stay in a bad mood.

When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself.

--Chief Tecumseh

THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.
A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!
 


:-D

laughing smiley

 

                  

It's never too late to start doing what is right.


-Charles Swindoll      

  
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.


2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?

Tame Way, Unique Up On It.


3. How Do Crazy People Go Through TheForest?

They Take The Psycho Path


4. How Do You Get Holy Water?

You Boil The Hell Out Of It.


5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?

Dam!

6 What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's


7.. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?

A Stick


8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

Nacho Cheese.


9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.


10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?

Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.


12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

Frostbite.


13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?

A Nervous Wreck.


14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?

Anyone Can Roast Beef.


15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?

Right Where You Left Him.


16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.


17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?

Because It Scares The Dog


18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.


19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?

The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?

Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Thei
r Hat.

 

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The safest rule

No ifs or buts

Just drive

Like ever one else

is nuts

**Burma-Shave**

==================================================

Don't stick your elbow

Out to far

Or it may

Go home

In another car

**Burma Shave**

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it

When you

Try to pass

The guy in front

Goes twice as fast

**Burma-Shave**

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't

Try passing

On a slope

Unless you have

A periscope

** Burma Shave**

-----     -----     -----     -----     -----     -----

Violets are blue

Roses are pink

On graves

Of those

Who drive and drink

Burma-Shave

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If hugging on highways

Is your sport

Trade in your car

For a davenport

**Burma Shave**

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Don't leave safety

To mere chance

That's why

Belts are

Sold with pants

** BURMA - SHAVE **

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

TRAIN APPROACHING

WHISTLE SQUEALING

PAUSE

AVOID THAT

RUNDOWN FEELING

BURMA-SHAVE

======================================================

IN SCHOOL ZONE

TAKE IT SLOW

LET THE LITTLE

SHAVERS GROW

Burma-Shave

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

BETTER TRY

LESS SPEED PER MILE

THAT CAR

MAY HAVE TO

LAST A WHILE

Burma - Shave

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Henry VIII

Sure had trouble

Short term wives

Long term stubble

**Burma Shave**

 

Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.

--Thomas A. Edison
 

 

Climb up on some hill at sunrise. Everybody needs perspective once in a while, and you'll find it there.

--Robb Sagendorph

Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.

--Ruth E. Renkel


An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.

--Friedrich Engels

 

 

I thank You God for most this amazing day; for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes.

--e.e. cummings
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

--Albert Schweitzer

 

PINK  CURTAINS

 

A Blonde goes to  K-Mart to buy curtains. She said to the salesman,

"I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains
He shows her several patterns but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, "Seventeen inches."

"Seventeen inches ?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for  ?"
 

The blonde says,  "They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor." The surprised salesman replies, "But Miss, computers do not need curtains !"

The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo ..

I've got Windoooooows......" 

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