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You can't read this and stay in a bad mood.
When you arise in the morning,
give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for
your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the
fault lies with yourself.
--Chief Tecumseh
THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.
A
DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!

:-D
laughing smiley

It's never
too late to start doing what is right.
-Charles Swindoll
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through TheForest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6 What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7.. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
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The safest rule
No ifs or buts
Just drive
Like ever one else
is nuts
**Burma-Shave**
==================================================
Don't stick your elbow
Out to far
Or it may
Go home
In another car
**Burma Shave**
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Why is it
When you
Try to pass
The guy in front
Goes twice as fast
**Burma-Shave**
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't
Try passing
On a slope
Unless you have
A periscope
** Burma Shave**
----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Violets are blue
Roses are pink
On graves
Of those
Who drive and drink
Burma-Shave
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
If hugging on highways
Is your sport
Trade in your car
For a davenport
**Burma Shave**
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Don't leave safety
To mere chance
That's why
Belts are
Sold with pants
** BURMA - SHAVE **
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
TRAIN APPROACHING
WHISTLE SQUEALING
PAUSE
AVOID THAT
RUNDOWN FEELING
BURMA-SHAVE
======================================================
IN SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET THE LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
Burma-Shave
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
BETTER TRY
LESS SPEED PER MILE
THAT CAR
MAY HAVE TO
LAST A WHILE
Burma - Shave
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Henry VIII
Sure had trouble
Short term wives
Long term stubble
**Burma Shave**
Everything comes
to him who hustles while he waits.
--Thomas A. Edison
Climb up on some
hill at sunrise. Everybody needs perspective once in a while, and you'll find it
there.
--Robb Sagendorph
Never fear
shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.
--Ruth E. Renkel
An ounce
of action is worth a ton of theory.
--Friedrich
Engels
I thank You God for
most this amazing day; for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true
dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is
yes.
--e.e.
cummings
Success is not
the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are
doing, you will be successful.
--Albert
Schweitzer
PINK CURTAINS
A Blonde goes to K-Mart to buy curtains. She said to the salesman,
"I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains He shows her several patterns but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.
The blonde promptly replies, "Seventeen inches."
"Seventeen inches ?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for ?"
The blonde says, "They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor." The surprised salesman replies, "But Miss, computers do not need curtains !"
The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo ..
I've got Windoooooows......"
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